How to Meander Through Lolla

Ladies and gentlemen, Lollapalooza is quickly approaching and if you aren't going to Chicago this weekend, you are at home wishing you were...like me. But the rest of us can dream, can't we? So for those who are going or those who like to salivate on their laptops about the time they could be having, this is for you. I have for you my imaginary daily schedule. If you want to have the best time at Lolla showcasing every kind of music, follow this. I'll try to convince you of each artist in less than ten words. (each artist has a video attached to their name).

Friday
San Cisco: 100-145 Cheeky playful guitar rock for the young at heart
Twenty One Pilots: 215-300 Anthemic mental pop from a piano/drums duo
Houndmouth: 320-350 Represent the local rising folkies
Atlas Genius: 350-415 Think Phoenix but Australian, less club synths, and smoother voice
Band of Horses: 415-445 Look outlaw. Play outlaw. But be sensitive.
Theophilus London: 445-515 Fashionable British rapper is hooking everyone
Imagine Dragons: 515-615 Everyone plays percussion. You know that one song.
Disclosure: 600-645 British brothers came to dance, techno style
The Killers: 825-1000 I think self explanatory. Kind of headlining.

Saturday
Family of the Year: 1200-1230 Faces youth. Does it with different guitar vibes.
The Bright Light Social Hour: 1230-100 From Austin. 9:44 song on album. Shredding. 
Wild Cub: 210-250 Vocal like Bon Iver (low voice). Music = fun and innocent
Lukas Nelson & P.O.T.R.: 320-345 Willie's son is electric, not acoustic. Sounds multinational.
Matt & Kim: 345-445 You will never be entertained like this again. ENERGY.
Ellie Goulding: 445-515 British songstress that handles pop and house
Eric Church: 515-600 He plays country. Yes, this is Lolla. Go see him!
The National: 600-715 America's saddest rockers continue to captivate
The Lumineers: 715-815 They have more songs than Ho Hey. They are good.
Mumford & Sons: 815-1000 London boys. Do you not know this?

Sunday
The Orwells: 100-145 Chicago boys with a lot of punky energy
The Mowgli's: 320-400 Looks like hippies. More credibility. Lots of people in band.
Machines are People Too: 430-450 Standing up for synths, one beat at a time.
Two Door Cinema Club: 450-530 Scottish quirky guitar rock always plays Lolla
Vampire Weekend: 630-745 Wouldn't seem like I need an explanation at this point
Phoenix/The Cure: YOU CHOOSE! DAMN IT I CANT! I DID EVERYTHING ELSE FOR YOU! RELEASE ME FROM THIS BURDEN OF A CHOICE! SCREW TEN WORDS! I FREAKED!

So I did not really leave room for you to walk from stage to stage or eat or piss. But then again I won't be there so that's your choice. I would recommend a swift sprint. This will fill your weekend nicely. (25)